Everyone knows the relationship game is a tough one. Infatuation, connection and shared dreams for the future can be overshadowed by the every-day minutiae of sharing one’s life with another human being.

Things one is willing to tolerate for love at the beginning of a relationship, say wet towels on the floor, can gradually become serious bones of contention. Before you know it, the lines are drawn, a declaration has been made, or at least muttered under the breath, and somehow, it’s war.

Pat Benatar may have had a point in her 1980s hit, Love is a Battlefield. But we all know it’s not really about wet towels. Wet towels come to represent issues of respect, boundaries or power. The good news is, couples who can get to these issues and talk about the feelings that are aroused in response to the wet towels, the garbage, who is picking up the kids or whatever the trigger is, can get off the battlefield and become closer.

Counselling can help couples to explore the dynamics underneath disagreements that prompt us to draw battle lines. It can help you recognise when the past is intruding on your relationship, develop understanding and compassion, and let go of those annoying “wet towels”.

To access a Relationships Australia counselling service near you call 1300 364 277.